1) Ladki ek aisi Paheli hai, Kabhi teri to kabhi meri Saheli hai, kharcha karo to bole: “Darling I Love You, na karo to bole: “Brother who r u’

2) A man who surrenders when he’s WRONG,is HONEST.
A man who surrenders when he’s NOT SURE,is WISE.
A man who surrenders when he’s RIGHT,is a HUSBAND.

3) SMS ek bimari hai jo waqt ko barbad kar rahi hai,Aao mil k kasam khaye k is bimari ko khatam kar denge,Ek call roz aap karo baki Misscall hum karenge

4) Chor 1 ghar me chori karne gaya, tijori par likha tha “TIJORI KO TODNE KI JARURT NAI,452 No. LAGAO AUR SAMNE WALA LAL BATAN DABAO,TIJORI KHUL JAYGI” Jaise hi
button dabaya alarm baja aur police aayi. Jate waqt chor seth se bola”AAJ MERA INSANIYAT SE VISHWAS UTH GAYA “!

5)Santa : I tried your number so many times, it always said ‘Switched Off’!”
Banta : Nahi Pape, it’s my HELLO TUNE!

6)Daku Mangal Singh Banta Ke Ghar Mein Ghus Ayaa..
Daku : Sona kahan hai, Jaldi Bataao..!
Banta : Pura Ghar Khali Hai Malko, Jithe Marzi So Jao!

7)Banta : Praji, Jab Main Paida Hua Tha To Military Walon Ne 21 Topein
Chalayeen Thi.
Santa : Kamaal Hai ! Sab Ka Nishana Kayse Chook Gaya..?

1 - Ek aadmi ek autorickshaw waale ko rok kar poochta hai ki bhai yeh auto khali hai kya toh is par autowaala kehta hai “kyun bomb rakhna hai kya isme” toh aadmi kehta hai ki bhai itne garam dimaag kyu ho rahe ho….toh autowaala kehta hai ki saara din engine par baithke dekh phir bata tera dimaag garam hoga ki nahi.

2 -Acha batao ki tihaar jail waalo ne jab apne jail waasiyon ke liye kapdo ka order diya toh unhone 1000 pants aur 999 shirts ka wierd combination kyu mangaya? Arre baba kyunki salman khan aane waala tha na!

3- Suhaagraat ka scene hai aur dulhan bistar par ghunghat mein baithi hui hai…………pati ki entry hoti hai aur who uska ghunghat utha kar usko dekhte hai aur phir jheb se usko 5000 Rs. Dete hai aur keht hai ki yeh lo yeh mooh dikhai ke hai…….. toh is par dulhan un 5000 mein se 3000 rakh leti hai aur baaaki 2000 lauta deti hai………yeh baat pati samjh nahi paata toh who usse poochta hai ki usne aisa kyun kiya……toh patni Sharma ke bolti hai ki “fikar mat karo mooh dikhai ka mera itna hi banta hai”

4 - Santa was riding on a horse. He jumped the red light and a cop whistles.
Santa lifts the tail of horse and says: ‘Le Karle Number Note’…

5 - A man to Santa: Ur friend is kissing ur wife in ur home.
Santa rushes home and came back within half an hour and slapped the man and said : He’s not my friend.

6 - Quest :- SHIV ji aur PARVATI ji ,
Kabhi computer kyun nahi sikh paye?
Ans - Kyun ki GANESH ji mouse lekar bhag jate the.

7 - Aaj Tak gets news that 100 sardars are killed in a train accident at Amritsar station.
Only one sardar left alive. The correspondent goes to him and asks, Sardarji how did it happen?
Sardar: oh ji pucho mat.. sab kuch sahi tha sab log platform par khade gaadi ki wait kar rahe they.
Achanak announcement hui ki shatabdee express 2 no. platform par aa rahi hai.
Jaise hi sab ne suna ki gaddi PLATFORM PAR aa rahi hai, sab log apni jaan bachane ke liye patri par kood gaye.
Aur tabhi gaddi patri par aa gayi.

Aaj tak: Thank god. Aap ne samajhdari dikhayee. Aap patri par nahin koode.
Sardar: oe nahin ji main to suicide karne ki liye patri par hi leta tha. Jaise hi announcement hui main to platform par chad gaya.