Patient:-doctor mujhe beemari hae khana na khau to bhuk lag jaati hae,jyada kaam karta hu to thakan lag jaati hae,der         tak utha rahu to need aa jaati hae.Kya karu?
Doctor:-Raat bhar dhoop mae bhete raho sahi ho jaoge.
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Ques – Santa ne aag mein jalte hue makaan se 7 logo ko baahar nikla lakin ab wo jail me hai kyun ?
Ans – Kunki sabi 7 log FIREMEN they.
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Film Director to Actor: Tum ko 100 feet ki height se swimming pool me jump lagana hai.
Actor: Par mere ko tairna nahi aata, mein doob jaunga.
Film Director: Don’t worry, pool me paani nahi hai.
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Santa- Agar nariyal k ped pe chhad jaun to Engineering college ki ladkiyan dikh jaayengi??
Banta- Zaroor!! Aur haath chhod dega to medical college ki bhi dikh jaayengi..
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GADHE ke samne 1 PAANI ki & 1 DARU ki balti rakhi’
GADHA Paani pi gaya.
Police ne sharabi se pucha- Tune is se kya sikha???
Sharabi- Jo DAARU nahi pita vo GADHA hai…
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1 ladka apne gf k liye chudiya lekar jata he!
GF- khud hi pehnado
Boy- mujhe kya pta tha itna acha response milega varna me kapde lekar ata
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Sardarji nay English k paper k liay MY BEST FRIEND ka eassy taiyar kia,

lakin paper main MY FATHER ka eassy aa gaya, ab sardarji nay socha ke

my best friend ka he essay likhta hoon, lakin friend ke jaga Father ka word likh doon ga,

Essay kuch yon tha:Fathers r everywhere but good fathers r very rare,

I have so many fathers but Mr.Narayan is my best father,he is my neighbour he often

comes 2 my home, my mother likes him very much.

Quest:- SHIV ji aur PARVATI ji ,
Kabhi computer kyun nahi sikh paye?

Tell ..Tell…
ok main hi bole deti hun

Kyun ki GANESH ji mouse lekar bhag jate the.
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Boyfriend-Sorry mein tumse shadi nahi kar sakta, gharwale mana karrahe hai.
Girlfriend-Ghar me kaun kaun hai?
Boyfriend-1 biwi aur 3 bachhe!
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Santa: Truck ka horn sunkar tum kaapne kyu lagte ho?
Titu: Ek truck driver meri biwi ko bhagaa le gaya tha, lagta hai jaise usko vapas laya ho.
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Boy- Tute huye Dil se pyar karogi,
ya Dil tutne tak pyar karogi.

Girl- Tuti hui chapal se mar khavoge,
ya chapal tutne tak mar khavoge.
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Pati computer me apna kam me busy …
patni – jara munna ko dekhte rahi ye main abhi aati hun

pati – thik hai javo

kuch der baad wapas aati hai aur..

patni-munna kahan hai ji
pati- yehin to tha dekho thik se
patni – nahi hai ji
pati- theharo Google main search marta hun.
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Maalik: tum sharaab peetey ho?
Nauker: Ji nahi.

Maalik: tum bidi peetey ho?
Nauker: nahi huzoor.

Maalik: Jua satta, aisa kuch ?
Nauker: Kabhi bhi nahi.

Maalik: Aur Koi kharaab aadat ?
Nauker: wasiey to kuch serious nahi, bus haan jooth bolne ki aadat hai.

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PAHLA SARDAR: jub hum chota tha tub hum char minar se gir gaya tha.

DOSRA SARDAR: tum mar gaya tha ya bach gaya tha.

PAHLA SARDAR: hum ko yad nai hum chota tha.

Bandar ki Beti Apne Bap se Boli Papa Papa Mujhe Shadi Karni Hai.

Beta thoda intazar karo kyonki.

Dulha Abhi msg Read Kar Raha hai..
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Laloo bada chalak hai
Nau baccho ka bap hai
Laloo bada nirala he
Dasva ane wala he..
Ye andar ki baat hai
Isme Vajpayee ka hat hai..
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Twinkle twinkle little star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far. 
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I wrote your name on sand it got washed.
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away.
then ~ I wrote your name on my heart

And I got a heart attack straight away   
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When your life is in darkness, pray to God
ask him to free you from darkness
and if after you pray,
you’re still in darkness,
Please pay your ELECTRICITY BILL!

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Santa ki chatri me hole tha, kisine pucha, umbrella mein hole kyu?
Sardar bola: Oye barish ruk jayegi to pata kaise chalega.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Santa: Why has the Govt. fixed voting age 18yrs ,marriage age 21yrs?
Banta: Govt. ko pata hai ki desh sambhalna aasan hai, lekin biwi ko nahi.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Santa bada dukhi tha, kisi ne pucha itni tension me kyonho?
Ek dost ko 3 lac plastic surgery k liye diye the, ab use pehchan nahin pa raha

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Driver: Sir ji, petrol khatam ho gaya , gaadi aage nahi ja sakti.
Banta: Chalo Phir, wapis le chalo.