Archive for the ‘Teacher Student Jokes’ Category

Some Cool SMS Jokes

Saturday, November 21st, 2009
  1. Patient:-doctor mujhe beemari hae khana na khau to bhuk lag jaati hae,jyada kaam karta hu to thakan lag jaati hae,der tak utha rahu to need aa jaati hae.Kya karu?

Doctor:-Raat bhar dhoop mae bhete raho sahi ho jaoge.

  1. Ques - Santa ne aag mein jalte hue makaan se 7 logo ko baahar nikla lakin ab wo jail me hai kyun ?

Ans - Kunki sabi 7 log FIREMEN they.

  1. Film Director to Actor: Tum ko 100 feet ki height se swimming pool me jump lagana hai.

Actor: Par mere ko tairna nahi aata, mein doob jaunga.
Film Director: Don’t worry, pool me paani nahi hai.

  1. Santa- Agar nariyal k ped pe chhad jaun to Engineering college ki ladkiyan dikh jaayengi??

Banta- Zaroor!! Aur haath chhod dega to medical college ki bhi dikh

jaayengi.. ;-)

  1. GADHE ke samne 1 PAANI ki & 1 DARU ki balti rakhi’

GADHA Paani pi gaya.

Police ne sharabi se pucha- Tune is se kya sikha???

Sharabi- Jo DAARU nahi pita vo GADHA hai…

  1. 1 ladka apne gf k liye chudiya lekar jata he!

GF- khud hi pehnado
Boy- mujhe kya pta tha itna acha response milega varna me kapde lekar ata

Husband Wife Jokes

Thursday, October 1st, 2009

Woh kaun thi
Husband Aur Wife Hotel Me Gaye Tabhi 1 Lady Ne
Hello Kiya,
Wife- Koun Thi Wo?
Hus-Tum Dimag Kharab Mat Karo, Main Pehle Hi Pareshan Hu Ki Woh Bhi Yehi Puchegi


wife hit her husband with frying pan

Husband: What was that for…?
Wife: I found a paper in your pocket
with the name Jenny on it.
Husband: I took part in a race last week
and Jenny was the name of my horse.
Wife: Sorry..!
Next day wife hit him with the frying pan again
Husband: What now..?
Wife: Your horse is on the Phone.

Message of the year

Women live a better, longer & peaceful life…!!
Why? Very simple.
A woman does not have a wife..!!!

Wife came home with a goat.
Husband asked”Is bhains ko ghar kion lai ho?”
Wife:”Dikhta nahin, bakri hy!”
Husband:”Bakri se hi poch raha hon”

Husband wife mein ladai ho gayi
Husband wife mein ladai ho gayi,
Husband ghar se chala gaya ,
Husb:Rat ko phone pay,”Khanay mein kya hai”
Wife:Zeher.
Husb:Mai dair se aoonga, tum kha kar so jana:

Man: Sir, my wife is missing.
Man: Sir, my wife is missing.
Postmaster:bhai ye post office hai, police station me complain dijiyee.

Man:Kya karon, khushi k mare kuch samajh nahin aa raha

Why did u shoot ur wife ?
Judge:why did u shoot ur wife, instead of shooting her lover?
Sardar:Your honour, it’s easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting one man every week.

How women call their husband in first 6 years
How woman calls their husband in first 6 years
Yr 1. Janu
Yr 2. O jee.
Yr 3. Sunte ho?
Yr 4. O bunty k pappa
Yr 5. Kahan mar gaye?
Yr 6. Tum aate ho ya main aaon?

Wife to husband:- kash aap sms hotay
Wife: Jaanu kash aap SMS hotay, Main aap ko save karti,
Husband:
Jaan-e-man, kaash tum ring tone hoti, Main her haftay tumhe change karta

Sardar ki wife inspecter se!
Sardar ki wife inspecter se!
Mera husband ek hafte pehle aaloo lene gaya tha abhi tak wapis nahi aaye:-(
Inspector bhi sardar tha bola:- to behan kuch or paka lo:-)

1 horror movie dekhi
Husband:rat ko mene 1 horror movie dekhi, 1 chudeil kabhi mere aage
kabhi piche aur kabhi sath chal rahi thi,
Wife:Kaun si movie thi?
Husband:Apni shadi ki


Teacher Student Jokes

Wednesday, March 18th, 2009
Teacher :What happened in 1869?
Student:Gandhi ji was born.
Teacher :What happened in 1873?
Student:Gandhiji was four years old.
*******
Question:What is the fullform of maths.
Anwser: Mentaly affected teachers harrasing students
****
Teacher :Because of Gandhiji’s hard work what do we get on 15th August.
Student:A holiday
*****
Teacher :Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.Everyone must attend it.
Raju:No ma’m! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher :Why?
Raju:My mother will not allow me to go so far!!!
********
Teacher: How old is ur father.
Sunny:As old as I am.
Teacher:How is it possible?
Sunny:He became father only after I was born.
*******
Teacher: (1)There is a frog,(2)Ship is sinking, (3)potatoes cost Rs 3/kg. Then,what is my age?
STUDENT:32 yrs.
Teacher:How do you know?
STUDENT:Well, my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.
*******
Teacher: Where does God live?
Little boy: I think he lives in our bathroom.
Teacher: Why do you say that?
Little boy: Well, every morning my daddy bangs on the door and says, ‘God, are you still in there?’
********
Teacher:”What is your name?”.
Student:”Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai.”
Teacher:”When I ask aquestion in english,answer it in english.”
Student:”My name is Sunlight.”

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